Looking back on these images makes my heart freeze... (!) and remind myself how much I love the winter in Sun Valley... only when it's snowing. (Thanks to my cousin, Annie, for these images!)
Sun Valley is fit for a snow globe. It's my happy place. The mountains, the lakes, the snow, and the sun. I mean it is a resort town... it's got to be full of FUN! Going back is honestly just too hard. I don't think I'll be visiting Sun Valley again until the summer when I know I'll have things to do. (This means, yes, 2018 seniors, I will be coming for you! ;) I believe the best thing I can do right now is to travel during my breaks that will grow me by the experience of new faces and places. Being in Sun Valley is just too easy. It's a beautiful home which makes it both a blessing and a curse. This year is a year of transition and falling back into the carefree life back home is not going to push me to make the change I want to see within myself. This transitory school year is not for the light-hearted and I'm lucky to be spending it around people who are willing to talk about how things are going and remind me that there are far better things ahead of us all. The people I'm surrounded by are truly so special. They have so much love to share.
Taking that leap of faith to get back on the place and fly back to where life moves quickly and where you're going to grow takes courage. Getting knocked out of your comfort zone is why it's so hard to keep going. I did not want to come back to Seattle. I cried outside of the TSA entrance for as long as I could. I have flown plenty of times to and from Seattle and Sun Valley, yet I had never felt so miserable to leave a home. My flight kept getting delayed so I stayed outside of security for as long as I could. I cried and I cried and I didn't want to come back. January 2nd was the day I cried so many tears I could probably have swam in them.
As far as today goes, I've had 24 days where things have slowly started to look up. Listed below are 7 things that I know I couldn't have gotten back to "Happy Hallie" without.
1. Journaling. Counting my blessings. Checking in on my thoughts, emotions, goals and aspirations. I never knew how powerful writing could be. Making lists of what you're grateful for can really start to add up, no matter how forced or uncomfortable it may feel in the beginning. To fill the pages of my journal I had to be present and be fully aware of everything around me and what I was doing... how I was spending my time. I kid you not - some "highlights" from my first "Grateful List" included; "my parents," "the colorful pens I am using to write this," and "my down coat."
2. A schedule. As much as doing the tedious worksheets, reading, and essays may be, there is a nice rhythm and routine to them. There is always something to do. I find when my mind gets empty (or overloaded) I tend to shut down. I can't think and I can't progress. (Why is it so easy for me to write a 1,000+ word blog post yet I can't write 1 word about a passage from a text? That's what I should be doing right now haha...)
3. Going to the gym. I get this done early because as we all know, going to the gym when you're half awake is much easier than consciously walking over there and dreading how hard your workout is going to be. The hardest part is putting on the clothes. In the mornings when I'm half way through my run or bike I finally look up and say, "Wow! You did it. You're here. You alive, awake, and excited to tackle this day."
4. Photography. Shooting gets me off campus and I get to meet new and interesting people out in the city while doing something that really makes my heart beat to its true rhythm. Man, making photos just makes my soul leap out of my body and LIVE.
5. Others. Those near and far from me, and those new and old to me. People will tell you, "You're not alone," but in reality I believe we are. We are all on extremely different paths in life. The people in our life we decide to surround ourselves with help shape and teach us the things we are meant to learn; yet life is a journey one must take by themselves. Humans will talk all they want, but it's important to notice when to listen to your heart. No one can tell you how you should feel. That's up to you, only you, and did I say YOU. You are in charge. You are the driver of how your little path is going to twist and turn around all the opportunities thrown at you.
6. Food dates. Last quarter I think I got breakfast, lunch, and dinner almost always by myself. I'm pretty introverted so I don't mind this at all, but I'm learning to enjoy eating amongst the company of others. Many of us suddenly got very busy this quarter and instead of running into someone in the cafeteria to grab some grub with, I find myself planning fun meet ups with others to enjoy some bites or to try a new place off campus! There are so many great coffee shops and restaurants to try around us in every direction. It's really fun to change it up! I don't think I will ever get tired of the places around here because it would take a very long time to try every item on every menu of all the eateries here.
7. Time. Give anything time and that thing will change. By now, I have come to recognize that change is the only constant. Change is the one thing that we can count on.
I definitely don't have all the answers nor do I have all of my shizz together.
All I know is that I am enough.
And that.
Is enough.
xo, Hallie
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